I was listening to my professor this morning with an engaged intellectual interest as he talked about how women were commodified in the 18th century as wives who fit a profile of beautiful, graceful helpmate for their husbands. How marriage was a market place where your physical, intangible qualities and economic standing were your main selling points. When he started talking about how we do the same thing with a university education in relation to its relevance and usefulness in the job market, a switch flipped in my brain. Illumination, my friends. Revelation. An epiphany.
And for fans or at least loyal readers of this blog, you know what happens when I have an epiphany. A many-paragraphed rant, with a liberal sprinkling of sass, undying optimism for the resilience of the human state, and references to irrelevant pop culture figures. So, here we go…
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a conversation with my friends where I or they have said, “I don’t get it. I’m so ______ (fill in blank with appropriate positive quality). Why does no one find me desirable/beautiful/worthy of their affection?” Yes, friends. In my reasoned wisdom, I know that this is a foolish argument to make. Life, love and attraction is much more complex than that. But, I realized the even larger flaw with this argument. We are commodifying our value as a romantic/sexual being. Yes, it isn’t in reference to skills like needle point or raising an 18th century brood of 10 children, but it’s still commodifying! I am incredibly proud of my abilities and successes, developed through hard work and natural aptitudes, in the academic realm. However, if I see my smarts as a commodity (i.e. if I’m smart, people, for romantic or relational reasons, will flock to me), does that not impact how I understand my intelligence? If I succeed in my academics, should I not be succeeding (whatever that means) socially? If I turn in a crappy paper, does this then mean that I lose value in the eyes of the people around me?
This is a somewhat facetious example, friends, but I will own the fact that I have allowed my sense of self to be shaped by the somewhat arbitrary assignment of value known as educational assessment. And this applies to so many other skills/talents that I posses or don’t possess but others do. In reference to my 18th century peers, I have far more opportunities and privilege afforded me as a woman, but has the root of the problem disappeared with superficial reforms? If your experience is anything like mine as a young woman, then my guess is hell to the no, to quote Mercedes Jones.
Also, I know that the Christian community spends a lot of time railing against the overly-sexualized culture in which we live, how it turns people into objects of lust and nothing more. Yes, my friends, yes it does! Our modern world commodifies sexuality like there’s no tomorrow. But, here’s where things get tricky. You know that exercise young women are encouraged to do in faith settings where they compile a list of traits they want their future mate to have?…. COMMODIFICATION, my friends! It is EVERYWHERE. Now, hang on. I’m not saying to do away with all standards. But really, if I think back to my own list, how much of that list was actually influenced by Godly reflection and how much of it was informed by my childhood crushes on Mr. Darcy and Gilbert Blythe? Because in our rebellion from over-sexual culture, we swing hard the other way and demand perfection before we enter into a romantic relationship.
This ultimately fails, though, because we have crushes on and we like imperfect people. So, do we then use our lists as justification for stringing them along but never emotionally committing or do we just end up wracked with guilt because we failed our list?
Yikes, my dear readers, yikes! If you’re angry with me for being unkind to this tradition amongst our faith community, keep in mind that I just deconstructed my own happy ending too…
So, where does this leave us? Why do we allow our sexuality to determine our value anyway? Or at least allow our other facets to inform our value in our sexuality? Where does this crazy commodification bullshit even come from?
If you’ve ever read Song of Songs (and giggled, high five to you), sexuality is born out of deep, passionate love, as represented through that poetry. Now, I must temper that by saying that this is a Biblical ideal of sexuality and love, so it may not be your frame of mind and thought (if so, please let me know, I’d love to hear what you have to say). In my frame of mind, though, this means that sexuality is born out of a connection to the love that is personified in God. God is love. Yadda yadda. If we’re going to take this whole “created in his image” thing seriously, this is the logical progression. Hmm… Is the love of God based on our market value?… Does God only love you if you’re having a good hair day? Does God only love you when you get an A on your test?
All together now, rapt audience! NO SIRREE. So, why do we understand love in those terms? Why do we turn love into a list of desirable qualities? Why do I turn my passion for education and learning into a reason that I should be desired? Why do I turn what I see in the mirror into a value judgment on how many people will notice me and show interest in me today?
Now, I’ve focused on the romantic/relational aspect of this, but my professor also talked about how we view ourselves in relation to the job market. For better or for worse, we are numbers, mere statistics in a system. I take that back, none of those things are for better. None of these numbers represent the soul and heart of the human being they are intended to represent. Okay, calm down, Davita. The job market is a soulless machine that chews up college graduates and turns them into uninspired, paradigm-perpetuating clones. We must conform, or we will fall victim to natural selection (shout out to my friend Darwin). No, no, no, no, no, I reply, emphatically. The issue is not with the practicalities of the job market. It’s that we confuse our job with our vocation. Our vocation is the personal stuff. The stuff that makes us tick. So, we then, by proxy, confuse our job market desirability with our vocational value. Have you ever met someone who’s found their vocation? In recent years, I’ve watched my parents find their vocation. Yes, they are working a job that is sometimes frustrating and always lots of hard work. They only partially teach, though, for the pay check, because when they teach, they parent and they inspire. I know this because I’ve heard the affirmation of their students. They model love. They model learning and intellectual curiosity. I could give you so many examples of people who have found their vocation, and I hope that you can think of some, because, my friends, that is what we should be striving for. Not for high-paying, prestigious positions (although those may come along as well), but vocational fulfillment. Okay, so yes, flaw in my argument, some people only care for money and power (insert examples of heartless politicians or leaders in other large corporations here).
Yes, well, as Britney Spears said, that’s their prerogative (an out of context reference that I absolutely do not apologize for). And it’s your prerogative, should you so choose. But, if you’re stuck in a spiral of letting numbers, superficial facets of your character and accomplishments define you and this is unsettling for you, then screw that. Cultural norms and pressures are powerful things, but you also have power and privilege, my friends. If you are educated, with relative financial independence and stability, you are not forced to comply with anybody’s wishes or pressures, especially when those are damaging to your sense of self and self-worth.
So, friends, deconstruct, criticize and analyze away. In my mind, walking out of this institution in two-ish years with a diploma is not half as worthwhile as walking out of it with an intelligent, informed and critical mind with a sense of responsibility to address and change the negative culture surrounding us (also, grab your diploma on your way out, you paid a lot of money for that piece of paper).
For my deconstructive lunatics, this one’s for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoyAg75PsTA
I’m out. *drops mic, kicks soap box, and most likely stubs toe*
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